Oh my God, what is this?! What is happening? There is a big bright light in the sky and I am warm. I must be dying. I’m sorry, what? What did you say it was? Spring? Oh ok, it’s just that it was supposed to start 8 weeks ago so I thought it was just not going to happen this year. That’s great though, it means summer is coming! It also means I – and you too, if like me you’ve been hibernating for months – need to get ready.
Summer check list:
1 – Get some DEET. No, get a lot of it! A couple times every summer I get very close to needing a blood transfusion to survive the constant attacks from mosquitoes/black flies/horse flies/evil flying creatures from Hell. So I have to choose between spraying we-are-not-sure-how-toxic-this-product-is insect repellant all over my body and risking not surviving the summer. Or to simply look like that:
2 – Get some sunscreen: There is an average of 48 hours of sun per month of summer in Nova Scotia, which is not a lot. However, it’s enough for you to burn or get a weird farmer’s or fisherman’s tan so apply generously. And put a hat on, a Moosehead one or even a Habs, a Bruins or a Leafs one. I’m kidding, don’t wear a Leafs hat. (I don’t really have anything against the Leafs, I’m just slowly becoming Canadian, so I’m dissing them like everyone else.)
3 – Get ready to drink: Between BBQs, patios, weddings, playoffs, and regular evenings, you will see your alcohol intake go up a lot. That’s OK, you’re helping the economy. Plus now, you get Air Miles at the NSLC, so really, you’re just making smart economic decisions. Just don’t forget to have at least one Keith’s at some point. It’s the law in Nova Scotia.
4 – Get ready for the election: In October, the country will vote for its leader. In the meantime, you will be exposed to a lot of arguments, lawn signs, heated conversations and cheap jokes about haircuts. To help you make your choice you can always count on the televised debates and your colleague or relative that has an opinion on everything and knows for sure who you should vote for. According to Elections Canada, 12.2% of Canadians are not at all interested in politics. If that’s your case and you get caught in a conversation about the elections, just say “First, we really should do something about the Senate!”. 86% of Canadians want to either abolish or reform it, so chances are people will agree with you, and hopefully, the conversation topic will change.
Mostly, get ready for some fun! But before fully enjoying the summer, make sure you are done shovelling all the snow that got dumped on Nova Scotia this winter.